Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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