I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
