Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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