if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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