70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
