just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
