I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
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Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
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Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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