apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
