I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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