is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
