she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
