Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
