He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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