I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize