Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
