Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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