So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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