we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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