He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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