i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
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the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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