Non-Jews are for practice
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
