Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize