hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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