The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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