we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize