I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.