FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover