In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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