Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize