Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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