that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
