Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Randomize
