I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
