I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
