I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
everyone is single if you try hard enough
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If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
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theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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