Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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