Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
