ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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