that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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