How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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