why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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