Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
