your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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