It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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