did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
