Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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