I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
