Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
