tell your sister to shave her snatch
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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