Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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