I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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