I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
