i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
