Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
