Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
