waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
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Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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