Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
