You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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