my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
