and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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