I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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