real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
