my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
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I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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