At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
