We're facebook friends in real life
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
