turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
it's great music for shaving your balls
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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